Fibroids

I'm going to kick some long dead member of my maternal family line's ass if I have one. Watch out, here comes 'roid rage Irisi..

Consent

Yes:
Sober
Awake
Stated

No:
Inebriated
Sleeping
Assumed



... And several months of letters do NOT make for consent. The makings for a healthy sexual relationship do not start with one intoxicated partner, and one sober... I thought I was watching my glass, and only had two glasses, until I noticed him refilling it. I thought I was safe, in my house and room, with my trusted friend. I still can't sleep well, even after a month, I keep having nightmares of waking up again, on the brink of orgasm from stimulation, angry and violated.

The plan of action:
1) Therapist enlisted
2) Embracing of term and survivor mantle, AGAIN, done
3) Involve spiritual work in new healing
Next, I reach out to friends, talk to my mom, incorporate this into my Oct lecture, and maybe this time I can be strong enough to tell him that was not okay...

... Although I'm also burned that when I did say No to him, he called me "full of poison, a stupid scared little girl," among other things.



I am also heartily happy to have S, my mentors, a patient and sensitive lover, and friends and community. This won't be so bad, with time.

Hello hello

While walking out of my Women's Studies class:
A: Classmate in another class with about 20 people in it that lasts 3 hours.
J: Classmate from last year that I can never remember.

Me: Hi, I'm Irisi, good to meet you!
A: We had class together yesterday.
J: She's terrible at remembering people.
Me: Yes, I am.
J: Just yesterday, she completely forgot who I was.
Me: Yes, I did. And so he beat me.
J: Mercilessly. With a paddle.
Me: Oooo! I mean.. Wait, do I know you?

Scripts

First, you have the coy pre-kiss flirtation dance, and then the kissing. Followed by petting, then explorations under the clothes, then the first tentative reaches to the genitalia. Then, your mouth roams, and eventually nudity and penetrative sex happen.

It really confuses people if you mess with the first part of the script and say "no kissing!"


... I just don't want the mouth herpes. Or the sensation of being soul naked, which is what kissing does to me. Is that so wrong?