Monogamy

The practice of having sex with only one partner.
www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/sexual-health-glossary

A closed two person hetro relationship, may be the result of an informed mutual agreement or from not understanding that there are viable options.
www.familysynergy.org/art-poly.html

Definition: A private sexual relationship stuck between two individuals.
www.sextermsdictionary.com/m-sexual-terms-and-definitions.htm

The mating of one person with another individual with neither engaging in sexual activity with anyone else.
www.sexualcounselling.com/Glossary/Glossarym.htm



... The question is, what exactly does it mean to me? More importantly, does it matter to me? And how do I negotiate boundaries if I choose a lifestyle outside of this social norm?

The truth is, I don't think I like monogamy, or think that it's natural, or healthy sometimes. There's a difference between being scared of something, and simply disagreeing with something on principal. I'm scared of monogamy because I don't think I'll be happy with it.

My first try at a triad relationship several years ago was a terrible mistake. I'm scared that my opinions and lifestyle will ultimately lead to the fall of a relationship I want so badly to make work.

Layout

I'm stealing lea's template, but I'm tired of having the emo kid blog and this is the only other decent template to use... Sorry! ;)

I love my dad, I really do... arg

[on fertility]
Dad: How old are you now?
Me: 22.
Dad: You have eight more years.
Me: What?
Dad: Until your fertility and egg quality declines, and you have a higher risk of having a child with a disability. Like your brother.
Me: ... Thanks, dad.

[on men]
Me: Good news dad, I have a boyfriend.
Dad: Does he have a PhD?
Me: No.
Dad: Dump him.

[on my desired career path]
Dad: What? Why do you want to study queers? Are you a queer? Do you like bondage?
Me: What? No! No I only like vanilla sex with men!

[more on my career path]
Dad: You should learn how to fix queers, if you want to study sex.
Me: Dad, I'll forgive you for that insensitive comment, because you are a product of your environment and the prevailing cultural attitudes.

[on weight gain]
Me: I think I'm getting fat. Dad, am I fat?
Dad: Yes.




.... I do love my father, I really do, but sometimes I want to strangle him.

I see the light!

Finals are almost over!

THANK THE GODS!

Happiness is...

- a funny way of walking
- strawberry milkshakes
- shrieking as Dog jumps into bed at entirely the wrong moment
- checking the mailbox obsessively
- a hearty breakfast
- clean laundry
- all the stresses turning out okay
- eager anticipation of another 7am wakeup call
- Trillobytes!
- good health

Bonds of God-fire and of Need

For our lammas ritual today, we explored the Red God, the edge walker, the wielder of the blade that cuts our bindings, limits our expansion, brings our death. In circle, we tied all twenty of us together with twine, stretching against one another as we expanded and grew, finding our edges. And we cut away those bonds.

While many of the bonds I choose to cut away are somewhat private demons, I have many I chose to keep, and swore to do so in sacred space, and now in a more public domain:

- Bonds of affection and loyalty to my friends and family
- Bonds of honesty at all times
- Bonds to do what's right, even if it's not easy
- Bonds to my education
- Bonds to maintain good posture and speak clearly and loudly
- Bonds to make something of my life
- Bonds to improve the lives of my survivor sisters
- Bonds to my faith

Taking names, kicking ass

I'm back!

A summary of the past few days:

Thursday: A drive to Indiana.
Friday: Dropping my family off at the airport. Stupid, stupid TSA people telling me to move my car before I have the opportunity to hug my mother goodbye. Day of errands: Returned a cable box, sold the car, picked up the dog, washed some laundry, went to goodwill, stopped by the storage locker.
Saturday: Up at 7 to drive back to Michigan with Dog. Depositing dog at vets for kenneling, a day of cleaning.
Sunday: A day of rest. By rest, I mean, reading 150 pages in prep for an exam, cleaning more, helping housemate prepare loft area of house (installed shag carpeting, new table, lamp... failed to carry mini fridge up 16 foot ladder.. No beer on tiny loft, sadness). Beer.
Monday: A happy wakeup with a phone call from Korea. Argument with vet- they insist my mother did not want the dog sedated for staple removal. I know that she said exactly the opposite thing. I call US caretaker privileges and tell them to sedate her, because there's no way she'll sit still. My mother wonders how her words were twisted.
Today: An exam, followed by dog pickup and check into hotel. Appreciation of business king accommodations. Dog is high. Preparation to take her to obedience classes in a few hours.



.... I miss studying for the GREs, working in the lab, and sleep.