MomQuotes: On Discussing Religion

"Why do people bother talking about what they believe? It's much more interesting to compare religions and demonstrate knowledge about them. Talking about what you believe is like talking about what kind of deodorant you like the best, nobody cares about your B.O. 'Oh, yes, I prefer Charmin ultra-soft toilet paper over Scott tissue!', who cares? It's exquisitely dull! We should discuss how brands of toilet tissue are different! Or have a political debate about social security benefits."

And this is why I love my mother.

MomQuotes: On Desert Survival

Me: Mom, I'm going to the desert. What should I bring?

Mom: [looking up from her book on existentialism] Something everybody can enjoy.

Me: Such as?

Mom: A whoopee cushion. Or a guitar. And sing a song together.

Me: Oh...?

Mom: Or a beast of burden, of any species. Perhaps a small child, or a woman with a basket on her head. Or a small mule, the woman with the basket on her head is a statue.

Me: Oh yes, mom, that's a good idea...?

Mom: Or a nose hair trimmer. And whiskey, to sterilize it. Yes. Or that guy, the one from your class. I have to go rescue your brother from your brother.

Me: .......?

A friend's advice

One day, one of my friends said to me, "Irisi, many years down the road, will you look back on college and think to yourself, 'gee, I wish I had gotten more sleep!'?"

This is a good point.

The past few days

Sunday: 12 hours spent reading about male Childhood Sexual Assault for a paper. 10 page research paper written. Went to bed desiring light and fluffy reading material, at 3am.

Monday: 7am wakeup. Drifted through the day. Got information about international grad programs. Intended to go to club, opted to stay home and sleep.

Tuesday: Picketed from 10am-6pm. http://www.umgeo.org/ Realized picketing is tough work, but quite similar to preistessing. Learned a bunch of new songs. Had anniversary dinner with Miss S at an Ethiopian restaurant. We fed each other, and were excessively mushy. There were a few funny glances, but one of the things I love about this city is that two young women being sweet doesn't faze many people.

Today: Slept in by accident. Now, I devote the day to reading this damn CDL manual.

Life direction: rambling

I am slowly becoming aware of a growing reality for myself: I am developing an identity, a path.

I've spent the past several years feeling like play-dough: mushy, easily shaped and formed, not really with a definite form. The analogy in The Golden Compass of a child having a flexible and ever changing Daemon, and then as they grow older, it choosing to take shapes for longer, and longer, until it finally fixes on something is very appropriate. I've been shifting, never very sure where my feet are, but satisfied with the sensation of cruising along as I figure myself out.

I'm realizing now that there are definite formative traits to myself, things that I don't feel will easily change, and that I identify with every day, no matter what my mood or situation may be:

: I am a witch
: I am a survivor
: I am sensual
: Sex is lifeforce
: I am a preistess
: I connect to God by dancing

I am right now tangling with 14 scholarly articles about masculinity, gender roles, and the effect of a cultural environment on disclosure rates of male childhood sexual assault survivors. I enjoy these articles, despite the rather depressing topic, because I enjoy the growing sense of empathy, and here I am, writing a paper for a class about a topic I am passionate about in all aspects of my life: nurturing healthy sexuality. My world as a priestess and my world as a student are directly overlapping, and I couldn't be happier.

I feel that two very clear, very potent directions for my life energy are forming:
- As a priestess, a witch
- As a therapist, a guide
It is thrilling to feel a sense of direction, but terrifying to figure out if I have to choose between them, or if I can somehow incorporate both of my passions and do everything I want to do with my life.



... I think a lot of this is coming from the musings about what I'm going to do in a year, when I graduate. This seems a very healthy, growth-oriented train of thought. Back to paper writing!

Ostara Reflections

Spring is coming! Finally, I can taste on the air the anticipation of the change of seasons- warmer weather, softer breezes, new life, new change, growth. I feel it coming in myself, too: it has been a hard winter. It has been a long winter. It has been a cold winter. I am ready to move out of it.

Walking around, I can still see one or two trees that keep their old leaves from last year. I want to say to them, "let go! let go of your old leaves! Die a little, so you can grow!" I wonder what old leaves I still carry, what is left to shed before I can grow.

We had a false start to spring last week. I had a false start to spring last week. The air was fresher, the sun was out, finally I could sit outside comfortably. I was happy, finally, happy to a point that I felt at times my heart would come screaming out of my chest, leaping and dancing. I read rumi and understood exactly what he was talking about, everything was balanced and good- and then, everything shifted, and the snow started again.

Now, I'm waiting for spring again. I'm anticipating spring again. But this time, when the spring of my spiritual existence bursts forth in it's radiant, blossoming beauty, it will be sustainable, self-initiated, liberated spring. I can see it, and taste it, and feel it on the tips of my fingers... And that's what makes these last, dying days of winter so bearable, as I let go of those last few leaves, welcome that last little death, and surrender to change.

Appreciation Circle

It feels good to receive unguarded, unabashed, innocent compliments. It feels even better to give them. How often are our intentions for complimenting another human misinterpreted? How often are our intentions truly misguided? I am learning valuable things to translate into everyday life, as the path of a witch is not exclusively lived in circle, and I must be a priestess in all things I do:

: Know myself and all my parts.
: Walk in honesty
: Appreciate often
: Look people in the eye, speak clearly and firmly.