Consent

Yes:
Sober
Awake
Stated

No:
Inebriated
Sleeping
Assumed



... And several months of letters do NOT make for consent. The makings for a healthy sexual relationship do not start with one intoxicated partner, and one sober... I thought I was watching my glass, and only had two glasses, until I noticed him refilling it. I thought I was safe, in my house and room, with my trusted friend. I still can't sleep well, even after a month, I keep having nightmares of waking up again, on the brink of orgasm from stimulation, angry and violated.

The plan of action:
1) Therapist enlisted
2) Embracing of term and survivor mantle, AGAIN, done
3) Involve spiritual work in new healing
Next, I reach out to friends, talk to my mom, incorporate this into my Oct lecture, and maybe this time I can be strong enough to tell him that was not okay...

... Although I'm also burned that when I did say No to him, he called me "full of poison, a stupid scared little girl," among other things.



I am also heartily happy to have S, my mentors, a patient and sensitive lover, and friends and community. This won't be so bad, with time.