MomQuotes: On Desert Survival

Me: Mom, I'm going to the desert. What should I bring?

Mom: [looking up from her book on existentialism] Something everybody can enjoy.

Me: Such as?

Mom: A whoopee cushion. Or a guitar. And sing a song together.

Me: Oh...?

Mom: Or a beast of burden, of any species. Perhaps a small child, or a woman with a basket on her head. Or a small mule, the woman with the basket on her head is a statue.

Me: Oh yes, mom, that's a good idea...?

Mom: Or a nose hair trimmer. And whiskey, to sterilize it. Yes. Or that guy, the one from your class. I have to go rescue your brother from your brother.

Me: .......?