Ostara Reflections

Spring is coming! Finally, I can taste on the air the anticipation of the change of seasons- warmer weather, softer breezes, new life, new change, growth. I feel it coming in myself, too: it has been a hard winter. It has been a long winter. It has been a cold winter. I am ready to move out of it.

Walking around, I can still see one or two trees that keep their old leaves from last year. I want to say to them, "let go! let go of your old leaves! Die a little, so you can grow!" I wonder what old leaves I still carry, what is left to shed before I can grow.

We had a false start to spring last week. I had a false start to spring last week. The air was fresher, the sun was out, finally I could sit outside comfortably. I was happy, finally, happy to a point that I felt at times my heart would come screaming out of my chest, leaping and dancing. I read rumi and understood exactly what he was talking about, everything was balanced and good- and then, everything shifted, and the snow started again.

Now, I'm waiting for spring again. I'm anticipating spring again. But this time, when the spring of my spiritual existence bursts forth in it's radiant, blossoming beauty, it will be sustainable, self-initiated, liberated spring. I can see it, and taste it, and feel it on the tips of my fingers... And that's what makes these last, dying days of winter so bearable, as I let go of those last few leaves, welcome that last little death, and surrender to change.